January 2010
ask me stuff. i caved. →
formspring is actually kind of addicting.
zephyr claire.
i feel like a new part of my life is starting.
i’m ready to be alive.
my birthday is coming up
buy me steampunk things. i am obsessed.
I AM MATERIALISTIC
excerpt
from: a self portrait dans la poésie
a butterfly, barely visible.
four little round marks,
and scars.
days.
years.
as i look back into my eyes i think
god i want claw myself to pieces.
this is not me.
this is not who i am inside, i want
to tear the fucking skin from my bones.
this rules
from where i am standing, it is raining on one side of my body and not the other. i am a god
empire! empire! (i was a lonely estate) - i am a...
damn.
yesterday i threw up for the first time in years and it sucked.
i have a lot to work on.
zephyr: abbas is pregnant
i am the godparent
evan: ...oh my
zephyr: that makes you a godparent too
so if abbas dies
we have to take in his child
ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THIS COMMITMENT?????
evan: yes.
wait
us
with a child
...
zephyr: oh god...
evan: oh no...
hopefully
some day i will be proud to be who i am.
that day hasn’t come yet though.
i promised myself i wouldn't complain about this,...
DEAR GOD I AM ABOUT TO BLOW MY BRAINS OUT
DAMN YOU SCIENCE DAMN YOUUUUUUUUUUUU
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what i've decided
i’m too scared to be, too scared i’ll lose you.
i love you enough that i don’t have to be 100% true to myself to be happy.
my ipod passed away this morning
i am basically inconsolable.
and yet the small tragedies of my life fade away in comparison to nature’s rage.
owen, cap’n jazz, and american football are...
i hate when i see faces in inanimate objects
you know, like when it looks like a house is smiling at you or shit like that? hate it. there’s something so wrong about it.
superheroes
Evan-Daniel: trufax. there should be like, a hines video game
Zephyr: i would play it
Evan-Daniel: he'd be saving the world, or something
Zephyr: i feel like if superheroes existed, hines would be one, frlz
Evan-Daniel: hines would be every one
Zephyr: you're right
Evan-Daniel: every superhero would just be the secret identity for another superhero and they'd all be hines
Zephyr: definitely
Evan-Daniel: except imagining hines in spandex is an interesting thought
Zephyr: ...yet strangely vivid
Evan-Daniel: he's dancing. there's a cape
Zephyr: i feel like it would be yellow...
Evan-Daniel: red and yellow, like the flash, but not at all like the flash
Zephyr: exactly. so beautiful
Evan-Daniel: this is the best image ever
Zephyr: it truly is
Evan-Daniel: he has a viking helmet
Zephyr: mindblowing...
Evan-Daniel: actually, hell he has a boat too, and some pokemon, just because damn, it'd be cool
Zephyr: coolest superhero ever
Evan-Daniel: i'm going to draw this as soon as i have some free time, expect it on your wall sometime in the future
Zephyr: i'm looking forward to it
Evan-Daniel: the fact that i can't draw makes it even better
Zephyr: of course
Evan-Daniel: stick figure viking hines in a boat
Zephyr: i was trying to think of some epic name for him to have, but nothing really tops just 'hines'
Evan-Daniel: agreed. hahaha steve's so out of the loop
Zephyr: though henry hynes wouldn't make a bad superhero either
Evan-Daniel: henry hynes IS a superhero (and my new bandmate)
Zephyr: awesome!
Evan-Daniel: but mostly just the savior of the universe
Zephyr: yeah
Evan-Daniel: and all things of and relating to the banjo
Zephyr: indeed, haha
Evan-Daniel: dangle, hines, and hynes. best comic book series ever
Zephyr: yes. the pure awesome of that just blows my mind
Evan-Daniel: they form and make megatron, which is really just dangle and henry trying to stand on hines' shoulders
Zephyr: all in spandex
Evan-Daniel: dangle is green, henry is blue, hines is red and yellow with a viking helmet and a boat
Zephyr: exactly what i was thinking
Evan-Daniel: some scattered pokemon, dangle has a battle axe
Zephyr: henry shoots laser beams
Evan-Daniel: yes, and reads pitchfork reviews (that is one of his superpowers)
Zephyr: of course. dangle just breaks everything with the battle axe
Evan-Daniel: yes, though he doesn't NEED the axe
Zephyr: it's just for show
Evan-Daniel: he could easily break everything himself, the axe is just - yeah. when he's done he just breaks the axe too
Zephyr: indeed
Evan-Daniel: then hines breaks him. then henry and hines have to break eachother. vicious cycle
Zephyr: not functional, but necessary
Evan-Daniel: true facts
stuck in my head. beautiful song.
liquidnight:
...
i never really talk about how scared i am...
at night i lay awake with this overwhelming terror crushing my chest and i think ‘i shouldn’t be alive right now’ and that idea catches my breath and holds it till i can feel my cells dying and i
breathe in.
the apex of this is, of course, the haunted room next to me where my soul left and where i bled all over the fucking bathtub and tried to ascend or descend or black out or...
i...can't...look...away... →
this link will change yr life
listening to a couple small bands and realized...
clean, pseudo-metal emo-rock band with generic guitar lines and mainstream-influenced melodies: about to play a show with a relatively big band, will probably become big
edgy, unique band with little mainstream appeal but lots of ideas and lots of talent: play almost exclusively small shows, will probably stay small.
it’s a bummer, yeah?
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another production begins, i'm waving goodbye to...
just finished auditions for the one act i am stage managing.
i am also co-designing lighting for all one acts.
why?
i ask myself that every play.
(p.s. our one act is about dead girls and a pedophile. like the lovely bones, but shorter and creepier. laaaawl)
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i wish i could live this way
v182:
he was a...